Dear Momma Who Just Went Back to Work

working mommaDear Momma Who Just Went Back to Work,

I see you, and I know today is a tough one. You’ve known this day was coming since the moment you held that sweet baby in your arms.  You’ve had a mini countdown in the back of your head the entire time, knowing that the days of being with your baby 24/7 were numbered.

Maybe you’ve dreaded this day.  Maybe part of you has looked forward to it because you miss your old routine.

Either feeling is allowed, you’re a good momma.

You’re waking up this morning, sleep deprived as ever, and finding clothes to fit your new momma body.  Maybe you’re wearing maternity pants.  Maybe you’ve packed pump supplies along with your lunch.  Maybe you couldn’t be happier to be in “real” clothes again.

You’re doing great already, you’re a good momma.

Maybe you’re dropping your baby off at daycare, maybe you have a nanny or a sitter or a family member to watch your little one.  Maybe your husband is a stay at home dad. Regardless, it will be hard to hand your baby to someone and drive away for the day.

This person or center was carefully and lovingly chosen by you, you’re a good momma.

You’re getting to work and taking deep breaths.  People will be excited to see you (especially your backfill).  They will ask about the baby.  They will ask how you are.  And some will acknowledge how hard this day is.  Those are the ones to lean on – go in their office and shut the door and shed some tears if you need to – they will understand.

You’ve made it to the beginning of the day, your baby is still being loved, you’re a good momma.

You’ll spend most of the day getting your bearings and catching up.  And maybe part of it pumping milk for your little one.  Remind yourself as you use the pump, or check in with daycare, or schedule the next appointment with the pediatrician that you are still mothering, even when you’re at the office.  And those moments when you’re doing actual work and not thinking about your child?  You’re mothering, then, too.  You’re providing for your family.  That is mothering.

You’re still a full time momma, you do not cease to be a momma when you walk into that building.  And – you’re a good momma.

You’ll watch the clock all day.  Watching the hours tick by just like you watched the weeks tick by when you were on leave.  When it’s time to go home I want you to take a deep breath and congratulate yourself.  You did it.  You’re now in the sisterhood of working mommas – you’ll know us by the spit up stains we’re trying to conceal, or the dark circles under our eyes, or the fact that we’re wearing mismatched shoes.

And we’re here to remind you that you’re a good momma.

But you’ll learn that for yourself when you pick your little one up from daycare or your aunt’s house or greet them again at your own home.  That baby will snuggle into your neck and know you.  You’re momma.  You’re the end-all be-all for that little one and always will be.

Your baby won’t forget that when you’re at work.  Not now, not when they’re a toddler, not ever.

Because somewhere deep down, they’ll know.  They’ll feel it.

You’re a good momma. 

 

 

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What’s in a name? (Show & Tell Tuesday)

I’m linking up to day with Andrea at Momfessionals for “Show and Tell Tuesday” and today we’re playing the name game.

When I was a freshman in college, I had a super quirky calculus professor whom, on the first day of class, called roll by shouting out each person’s name and then looking up the meaning of said name in his handy-dandy name meaning book.  Because why wouldn’t a MATH professor keep one of these close by?

Is quirkiness a pre-requisite for college professors?  I had quite the cast of characters that educated me.  There was the sociology professor who told us on the first day of class a detailed story about his drug-addicted wife leaving him after 18 years of marriage – FOR A PIMP, and the political science professor who spoke at such a low volume that you had to be three latte’s in and be leaning in very closely to hear him and stay awake all at the same time UNTIL HE STARTED SCREAMING AND CURSING OUT OF NOWHERE, THAT IS.  And the other political science professor with the glass eye who still managed to always catch me looking at my phone during class…

I digress.

Once I realized my calc professor was also giving us the gift of telling us our name meaning I began shrinking in my chair.  Because I knew what my name meant.  And I was sitting next to boys I had met at our freshman orientation camp who I would have liked to have made a good first impression on since I knew exactly 2 people at TCU when I went there.

“Kelly Ferguson – WARRIOR WOMAN.  Stand up Kelly, let’s see your warrior self!”

Ah, isn’t that lovely?  And such a match for my 5 foot nada frame.  I weighed maybe 100 pounds at the time, too.  So fitting.  This was clearly a life highlight for me.

How was I blessed with such a name?

My parents named me after a street.

The street where they met? One might ask.  No, of course not.  The street they lived off of? Nah, not that either.  Well surely there’s some meaning behind this street? Nope.

Just, one day they were driving down Kelly Avenue and thought, “hey, that’s a nice name”.

And this is how I did not become Julie – which was apparently the other name chosen for me before the Great Street Epiphany of 1985.

Julie means “youthful” – a much preferred meaning to “warrior woman” if you ask me.

Meanings aside, I’m very glad to have been named Kelly.  Because who would I be today had I not been called Kelly Kapowski through much of my elementary school days? That is some character and humor building stuff right there. (Thanks, Mom & Dad!)

Kelly-Kapowski-Pictures

If only my hair looked that fab and I could pull off tie-dye disc earrings paired with a neon floral crop top.

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Friday Favorites & Remembering

Before I get to the favorites – I wanted to share a few things quickly.  This Sunday marks the 20th anniversary of the Oklahoma City Bombing.  I’ll have a post up this weekend on the Oklahoma City Moms Blog about  experience as a third grader that day – and how it affects me now as a mother.  I’ll link back to it here on Monday.

And there are two super simple things you can do to honor the victims & survivors that I wanted to pass along:

1. Drive with your headlights on all day Sunday (here’s why)

2. Commit to the Oklahoma Standard (Service, Honor, Kindness)

FridayFavorites

Today I’m linking up with Narci, Andrea & Erika to share some of my favorites this week.

Full disclosure: This has been a long week.  A loooongggg week. But, in the interest of being glass half full and choosing joy, I bring you some of my favorites from it.

one

A friend shared this post on “Three Truths About C-Section Mamas” with me earlier this week and I love it so, so much.  I relate to every single word of it – especially this part.

“Some c-section mamas have weeks to mentally prepare for a change in their plans, but many only have days, hours, or minutes. Suddenly, everything she envisioned when meeting her child has changed. Her birth plan has been thrown out the window. Surgery lies before her. She doesn’t know how long she’ll have to wait after birth before she holds her baby in her arms.”

Read it and share it with your friends who have had c-sections, will ya?

two (1)

I’ve professed my deep and undying love for Gilmore GIrls on Facebook a few times already and it just keeps getting better.

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Important to note that “car assembly” is not on the list of favorites

I have spent a lot of time laying on the couch with a certain toddler snoozing on my chest and have continued my binge-watching.  It occurred to me recently that I was Rory’s age when this show was airing and now that I’m watching it again I’m closer to Lorelai’s age.  This just doesn’t seem fair. I’m pretty sure that I was in high school like 5 minutes ago.

Mostly I have the phrase “Oy with the poodles already” stuck in my head and I would like to make that a thing.

three

Amazon Prime.  My love for Amazon Prime is deep and undying.  I literally do not know how we would function without it – there just aren’t enough hours in a day to run errands! A good portion of G’s Easter basket items came from Amazon Prime (to include these books which I just love).

This week I discovered I can “borrow” books on my kindle because of my Prime membership.  Which, that is just beyond awesome. I’m going to try to make a conscious effort to start reading again and spending zero dollars on books is a huge help.

Right now you can try Amazon Prime or Amazon Mom for free for 30 days! And the Prime trial includes book borrowing – which makes the books super extra free.

four

We have a weekend tradition of eating breakfast at a local diner.  They are just the sweetest people and we love love love their food.  I caught J and G walking out to the car after we had eaten far too many pancakes and my heart just melted – sweet girl walking with her daddy.  I hope she always knows how much he adores her!

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five

The comments on my post about breastfeeding my toddler have had me giggling this week.  Ya’ll have the best stories of your nursing adventures – thank you for sharing!

“the word weaning makes me feel like a pig feeding a litter of piglets”

“He wanted to babble at a passers-by when they walked by (totally baring me) or he was just more interested in trying to pick at my nose.”

“The streeeetch…why do they do that? And they always seem to have a mischievous smile while they do it.”

“Whichever side Reese wasn’t latched onto, she would reach over and twist and tweak the other nipple”

“she managed to kick my nose so hard while nursing, I swear it was broken.”

“Nothing like a big 25 pound toddler grabbing at your boobs, definitely deserves a medal or a whole lot of wine.”

TGIF!  Hope you all have a great weekend!

 

 

 

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