I Don’t Wanna Grow Up

Just want to mention very quickly that  I’m on the OKC moms blog talking about my 20’s (which end on Thursday – ah!) as part of their ‘Love Your Decade’ series – seems fitting with the theme of today’s post here, no? And Mom Babble is featuring my Toddler’s List of Grievances post today. 

Show and Tell - IG Graphic 2

When I saw the prompt, “Tell us what you wanted to be ‘When I Grow Up'” my immediate next thought was of Jeffery the Giraffe and, “I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys R Us kid…”

So. That’s where I stand on the whole grown-up thing. #Denial

But in the interest of playing along and sharing with the group as part of Andrea’s Show & Tell Tuesdays, I should first say that nowhere on my radar ever was the job I currently do now.

(Important to note here that I love my job now. I love the challenges and that it’s different every day and I love the people I work with. Just – this wasn’t something I wrote a report on in the third grade or anything.)

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a teacher.  My mom was a teacher, my aunt was a teacher, I loved school.  It seemed like the most natural thing in the world.  I specifically remember noting that my third grade teacher put tissue paper over the erasers in her room because that cleaned the chalk boards better.  Please appreciate the level of my nerdiness as I was like, “Mental note, do that when you’re a teacher. Clean chalk boards are important.”

And now I’m pretty sure that chalkboards are obsolete. Bless my heart. I didn’t consider that technology would happen and would literally erase my grand plans. (See what I did there?)

Alas, teaching fell aside as I entered high school and realized I loved to write.  Give me a multiple choice test and I will break out in hives.  Give me an essay test and I will be happy to TELL YOU WHAT I KNOW.

(Don’t even get me started on true/false tests.  Those are the root of all evil.)

So the writing love carried through to college where I declared myself a business major (common sense FTW) for exactly one semester and then realized that math would be a part of that degree and no thank you. 

Off to the journalism school I went.  I loved my classes. Loved.  Fantastic professors, project (writing) based grading.  It. Was. So. Fab.

Until I neared graduation and realized that my best option would be being a traffic reporter in Nowheresville, South Dakota barely making minimum wage.  Again, no thank you. 

(Listen. If you are from South Dakota and you are reading this then I’m sure your state is very wonderful.  But I start to complain about the cold at around 55 degrees and, just, know thyself. I am not meant to live north of the Mason-Dixon line.)

So I parlayed my journalism degree into a job at an advertising agency in Dallas where I worked on print media for a major pizza chain.

(You’re welcome for the junk mail! I DARE you to find a typo on a coupon I proofed.)

I worked with some of the very best people there but the hours were cuckoo crazy and I just burned out. Right around that time I was offered a new job and, well, I’m still at that job today – 5 years later.  So clearly something’s working and I am loving what I do every day.

The tricky thing about wanting to be a writer when you grow up is it’s really hard to write for a living and still afford fancy things like a roof and shoes and ramen noodles. But then, if you don’t write – if you just let that part of you lay dormant for, oh, 7 years – you always have this nagging thing in the back of your head asking you why you aren’t putting to paper some of your thoughts.

Because when you’re a writer – when this is your nature – this is how you best communicate.  The words flow.  Words on paper (or screen) are easy.  Words in person are trickier.  But here they are a natural next progression of thought.

So in my own way, I now feel like I’m fulfilling that dream of being a writer.  Because I’m writing here.  And on Scary Mommy. And on the OKC Moms Blog.

But the beauty of it is that I’m doing this for fun. It’s a creative outlet. It’s a hobby. It is absolutely pressure-free and I am so thankful that this is not my job because I fear that would take some of the fun out of it.

That said if anyone would like to start paying me the big bucks to sit at home in my pajamas while I blog then please do contact me.  

I’ll just be sitting here waiting for the floods of virtual job offers to start pouring in.

 

 

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Out of the Mouths of Moms

Out of The Mouths of

 

Hi mommas!  I’m excited to start this little link up to share some of the crazy things I find myself saying now that I’m a momma.  I hope you’ll join in by linking up your own post here OR by tweeting, instagramming, facebooking, other social media-ing the ridiculous things you say with the hashtag #ootmom.  I’m hoping this will just be a fun way to laugh at ourselves (and each other) as we do this motherhood thing.

Tentative plan is to do this on the first of the month, every month.  SO – you have plenty of time to make notes for next time.

Shall we start? Yes. Yes we shall.  Without further ado, my #ootmom moments, without context.  Enjoy:

“G, pants are not optional. They are required.  They are your friend. Pants are our friends! We love pants. Pantsy pants pants.  Look! Mommy wears pants! Pants are THE COOLEST EVER.  Please. Let. Me. Put. On. Your. Pants.”

“Thank you for not putting your toothbrush in the potty. That was a good choice.”

“Please get your hand out of mommy’s shirt. Mommy doesn’t like when you stick your hand down her shirt. Especially at the grocery store.”

“Don’t put your foot in it don’t put your foot in it…you did it. You put your foot in your diaper.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea to put the entire tortilla in your mouth honey. You have to chew. Chewing is key.”

“Please don’t eat my hair.  My hair is not a snack.”

“Oh. You found that book we’ve read 800 times today.  How did you get that out from under the couch?”

“G, if you want me to read to you you cannot shove the book in my face. I cannot see it if it’s pressed up against my nose.”

“Please don’t sit on my head. That’s not kind.”

“Is that mulch in your mouth? Mommy doesn’t know how to grow edible things so we don’t taste-test the garden.”

 


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Scary Mommy, Indeed

Scary mommy

Oh hey friends. Yesterday was a whole thing, wasn’t it?  Is it obvious that I have zero control over the editorial calendar of the sites I contribute to?

Because I can promise you that there is no universe in which I would have run a post on my PPD and my heavily sarcastic post on Daycare Myths on the same day.

Let’s pretend those were complimentary in a very “opposites attract” kind of way.  Just go with it.

Anyway, I learned some things yesterday about the Big Internet.  It can be overwhelmingly kind and supportive while simultaneously being overwhelmingly disagreeable (to put it nicely).

Having a piece run on Scary Mommy is very cool and feels very validating to a little ol’ blogger like myself.  But I was not fully prepared for the Big Internet.

Next time I’ll be ready, because I’ll remember these 10 things:

  1. The very first comment might be mean.  You will see comments on your post and think “hurray! This resonated with someone! I did it right” and then suddenly feel very misunderstood. Remember these two words: Vocal. Minority.
  2. You will question your post once people start to pick at it. In the immortal words of Taylor Swift: Shake it off!
  3. Don’t look at the Facebook comments. Just don’t.  It’s a rabbit hole you don’t want to go down.
  4. You’re going to look at the Facebook comments. You’re a writer, and since you’re a writer words matter to you. Grab a cocktail.
  5. Make sure someone is nearby to cut you off at a 2 drink maximum.
  6. Circumvent the advice given in point 5 and instead make that person to help you turn comment reading into a drinking game: every time a commenter takes a jab at you, take a drink!
  7. Editors aren’t idiots.  They get paid to select what gets put on their site. You were published for a reason.
  8. Want to know who doesn’t get paid? Commenters.  This is why you should be thankful for the kind ones – they took time to praise your work – and let the others roll off your back.  You don’t need to justify yourself to them. You just don’t.
  9. Before you submit, be sure you are telling YOUR truth. Your truth is all that matters. It makes the criticism easier to swallow when you know you’ve been fully honest.
  10. If all else fails, channel your inner Jen Hatmaker (this rule probably applies to a lot in life):

“Most readers are craving truth-tellers who don’t sanitize their words to avoid criticism. Be brave.”

Be brave, writers.  Be. Brave.

And now for a moment of shameless self promotion:

Out of The Mouths of Are you writing down the ridiculous things you say so you can link up with me next Monday (June 1) for Out of the Mouths of Moms (#ootmom).  You KNOW you have said something crazy today. Here’s mine for the day:

“G, I need you to eat your dinner without making me pretend to taste test each bite first. I am not your cup-bearer”.

Please don’t leave me alone on this limb of saying the most ridiculous things.  Start making notes, I can’t wait to read what you have to share!

 

 

 

 

 

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