5 Reasons I Deserve a Medal for Nursing My Toddler

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toddler nursing

Breastfeeding. It’s all sweet and dear and precious in the beginning.

Or it’s terrible and your nipples bleed and the baby won’t latch and the engorgement makes you feel like a porn star.

Whichever.

Regardless, when you’re putting that sweet new baby to your breast, the last thing you’re thinking about is what this experience will be like in exactly one year.

It’s a whole new ballgame, this extended breastfeeding. Nursing at 3 months and nursing at 15 months has about the same number of similarities as Kim Kardashian and Betty White.

If you are nursing a child over the age of 1, you need to just say goodbye to whatever pride you have left. It’s gone. That ship has sailed. Buh-bye, pride!

So as I bid adieu to my pride, I would like to at least have a prize for my efforts.

5 reasons why nursing moms of toddlers deserve a medal:

  1. My boobs are bongos. Oh yes – bongos. While my daughter nurses she will now bang on my boob with gusto. This is often egged on by my husband yelling “slap the bag!” a la getting every last drop from a box of wine. The first time he shouted that at me was the exact moment that I knew that the sweet, tender days of nursing were slipping away and I was now on an adventure course of breastfeeding survival.
  2. My nipples have stretched to unbelievable lengths. That’s right – I’m going there. Nipples. There are days that I basically feel like silly putty. My daughter will nurse and then instead of unlatching and going into that glorious milk drunk state she did as a newborn she now streeeetches that nipple way, way out. Just for funsies. Ouch.
  3. I am still a walking buffet. The danger here is that now my little customer is a walking eater. Last year my greatest worry was springing a leak at work, now my greatest worry is my child walking up to me in a public place and yanking down my shirt to help herself to a little snack (I have no idea which is worse). Or, if she can’t pull down my shirt, just attacking me with an open mouth. Like she’s bobbing for apples on my chest. This has happened too many times to count. It was especially precious during Easter Sunday church services.
  4. Nursing in public is an Olympic sport. This is no longer a modest experience. Nursing covers are not tolerated. I’m now trying to hold a 21 lb person in place. A 21 pound person who very easily could become distracted by a bird or some sort of shiny object walking by and unlatch with no notice, leaving me exposed to the world – and leaving her impatient that I have to cover myself before we can go check out whatever it is that has caught her eye.
  5. Hormones be cray – Um, postpartum hormones are not a delight, I think we can all agree upon that. Also not a delight? The additional hormone shift that comes when your child has almost weaned. My body is in a state of flux and is so confused. Am I feeding another human today? I don’t know! It’s a mystery and my pituitary gland is confused and exhausted. It deserves a prize.

Still don’t think nursing moms of toddlers need a prize? Behold: a selfie.  Moments before she was trying to pluck this eye right out of my head,.  She eventually switched to just whacking me in the face with her open hand.

It was all very tender and precious.

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Posted by & filed under Motherhood, The Girl. This post has 39 comments.

39 thoughts on “5 Reasons I Deserve a Medal for Nursing My Toddler”

  1. Sherri

    This is too funny! Luv your description of this particular challenge of motherhood which created hilarious imagery for this reader. So enjoy your blog…

  2. Ashley

    Oh my gosh. I could not help but laugh throughout this post! Child #3 was the only one of my kids that wanted to continue nursing past 12mo. This is all so true. And I still remember feeling like my body that couldn’t figure out if it was still feeding him or not each day! Oh I was a crazy lady during that time, for sure!

  4. Melissa Roy

    I breastfed all three of mine well into toddlerhood (18 months, 27 months and 23 months). I can relate to all of this but by far the worst for me is when my toddler is working on a gold medal in feeding gymnastics while standing on their heads, stretching and lifting their legs and contorting their bodies in any which way they can. Ahhh, the joys of mommyhood!

  6. Ashleigh

    “Slap that bag!” Lol I love this!!! My hubs calls them socks with rocks, but you know, whatever works 😉 Great post, I nursed #1 18 months, #2 13 months, and currently going on month 12 with #3…. I’d say my pride is long gone ha!! Good for you! Xx Ashleigh @SimplyWright

  8. Six Pack Mommy

    Wow. Moms that nurse toddlers DO deserve a medal! I loved nursing my six, but once they started teething, I wimped out. I really admire moms that continue it, like yourself, and I wish I had kept going longer.

  13. Amy

    This article was timed perfectly for me. My baby is nearing the year mark, and I am dealing with most of the above issues. Medals sound about right. I could take a similar selfie from this morning except my daughter is always clawing my nose. 🙂

  16. Ronda Ogilvie

    You do deserve an award! My breast feeding timeline got shorter with each kiddo! oh the memories of the bite and pull…ouch! I really enjoyed your writing! Very entertaining!!

  17. Sara

    You totally deserve a reward! I experiences so much of this with my daughter – thanks for bringing back a blast from the past. It’s crazy how fast the time passes!

  18. Takisha

    I loved this!!! My toddler is looking at me weird Lol.
    I have three kids and never experienced breast feeding. I’ve tried and tried and my babies never latched. You make it sound worth giving it another try.

  19. Yanique

    This is such a funny, but true post! I nursed my kids until they were 13 months or so and you brought back a lot of memories. The streeeetch…why do they do that? And they always seem to have a mischievous smile while they do it. Good for you for continuing to nurse. You do deserve a medal…preferably one that is not boob shaped. That would be hilarious!

  20. JcCee Watkins Barney

    This is such a true post. I laughed throughout while reading it especially number 3. I nursed all 4 of mines and it brought back so many memories.

  21. Gunjan

    Lovely post. I could toatally relate. Couple of years back i was in the same situation. The baby years are all precious and memorable moments but tiring at the same time.

  22. Louisa Kopp

    Aaahhh yes! I nursed my son until he was 20 months and every part of this is spot on!!! Nothing like a big 25 pound toddler grabbing at your boobs, definitely deserves a medal or a whole lot of wine. 🙂

  23. kathy

    This is so true! And funny, especially the bit about the nipples! I’ve got four and nursed all of them. Believe me, I know what you mean!

  25. Ali

    Bahaha.. This is oh so very true and made me laugh hysterically. I am also going through the hormonal roller coaster of weaning. My little one is turning a year next week and she is pretty much done with me. I am definitely ready, but I have been curious as to why I am a little crazy lately. Then I had the “aha” moment. Thanks for the laughs girl!

  26. Jacquelyn Ward

    this is so funny. you deserve a medal. my daughter just stopped at 6mos old…she was like uh-uh get that boob away. i felt so rejected. then the hormones kicked in. weaning stinks. also the word weaning makes me feel like a pig feeding a litter of piglets. we need to invent new words…i definitely wouldn’t ask your husband to contribute, lol.

  27. Jenn Youse

    That was just too cute, ahhh those were precious moments, but glad they’re behind me now.. Teething, that’s fun, especially when you’re in a nice calm and quiet moment then you get bit. That wakes you up for sure.

  28. Erin

    How about the, uh, tweaking…. Whichever side Reese wasn’t latched onto, she would reach over and twist and tweak the other nipple. Not okay. And once she managed to kick my nose so hard while nursing, I swear it was broken. We stopped day nursing at 16 months and stopped all nursing at 18 months. The gradual end really helped both of us cope with “The End.”

  29. Ashley Packard

    His is too good. My son only breastfed til 12 months, but even then I was starting to feel the struggle. He wanted to babble at a passers-by when they walked by (totally baring me) or he was just more interested in trying to pick at my nose.

  30. ERFmama

    Good funny post and put a smile on my face! ha ha
    I also recognised a lot of what you had to say. My youngest i nursed until 2,5 years old. 🙂

  32. Kim @ This Ole Mom

    I loved reading your post it was funny and so true. The part I hated is when my kiddos starting biting my nipples. I knew once they started that I was done breastfeeding! I loved your picture!! lol

  33. Amy

    OMG! This is so funny (and so relevent!) My daughter is only 8 months, already weighs 21 lbs, and is doing most of this. And you forgot to mention TEETH!

  34. Tarynn Playle

    This is hilarious! I agree with every single point! My son is still nursing at 22months-yikes! I’m so done! We most certainly deserve a medal! Gonna share in FB!

  36. Kristin

    Haha GREAT post. I nursed my daughter until she was 14 months old and she weaned herself. The hormones are BRUTAL! Everything you are saying is true. I don’t understand the fascination they have with the nipples either. Very weird! Good job mama and stay strong you get a medal in my book!

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